When I Stop Writing, I Stop Living
Last year, with qualifications and examinations waiting in a long line for me to complete, I was constantly motivated and had no problem finding my purpose every day. This year, however, things have changed.
Despite working and studying day and night, I felt so mentally unfulfilled and dormant. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. My vision board is filled, my job as a tutor is doing great, my studies are going well, and my life is not bad at all. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, 3 AM to be exact, the moment I thought I should have called it a day and immersed myself in the soft, cloud-like bed, my mind was filled with restlessness. That was the moment when I was experiencing something I never knew was possible, feeling busy and lost at the same time.
I was so busy, but I had no idea what I was busy for.
The following day, I was motivated to spend the whole day reflecting on this issue to figure out its root. As I was journaling, I coincidentally looked at my old goal papers, the special papers I used particularly for writing down goals, and something clicked inside my little brain. I realized, for the past several months, I have completely stopped writing, whether it’s writing what I’m grateful for at the end of the day, my goals, dreams, or random messages. Ah… so that’s the reason. But why?
Writing is an amazing method for self-reflection and self-exploration, but since it works so well, it’s scary. Anyone who has tried writing, not for an audience but to see who they truly are, knows this. The act of writing will keep you grounded so quickly and effectively that you have to face the raw, authentic, and sometimes unexpected version of you. This is the scary part for some people if they are not ready to hear their voice.
This kind of writing is for the brave ones.
Henceforth, I no longer play it safe. I write down new goals, random messages, to-do lists, and anything that’s on my mind. Suddenly, life feels lighter but also clearer.
Reference:
TEDxTalks. (2015, January 21). Look deeper -- write -- the wonders of writing | Nicoletta Demetriou | TEDxUniversityofNicosia [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/aTgPJQ9Dy7Q
